Here at Pilgrims’ Inn, our clients are absolutely heroic.
There are a lot of stories out there about people who have overcome huge life obstacles. Hollywood especially sometimes makes those journeys sound inspiring and almost romantic, with heroes / heroines facing down almost insurmountable odds with unwavering determination. Well, in real life it tends to get a lot more messy.
In my experience, Chronic poverty – and the stresses and barriers it poses to those who struggle to free themselves - is often brutal. Those mired in this kind of poverty often face such long, hard roads to any kind of recovery that they are prone to depression, discouragement, and just giving up. They often come up against one disappointment after another in spite of their efforts. The problems they must deal with often become almost like a perverse “whack-a mole” game - no sooner do they get a new job than their car breaks down and they can’t get there; they manage to save up a few dollars only to find someone in the family is sick and needs to spend that money on medications.
Moreover, many of the folks who have to deal with this harsh reality have the least personal resources to deal with it. I do not like to stereotype our clients too much because every story is different, but nevertheless the majority of our clients have grown up in families where they were neither taught nor exposed to good coping skills, responsible choices, logical problem solving. In many cases they have generations of examples of not valuing education – even a high school diploma – of poor health choices, of dependency on public welfare. For them, even small steps toward independence come at a high cost and only after deep committment to trying to figure it all out.
Here are just a few examples of some of the hard-won victories we’ve seen at the Inn lately:
“A”, a single mom with a one-year-old, finally completed her GED requirements and is a high school graduate. This comes after three previous failed attempts to complete the GED on her own. She is already in the process of applying to York Technical College to further her studies. She and her son reside in one of our Shelter Plus apartments on campus. This program serves those with mental health diagnoses who need help remaining stable.
“H”, a married father of 4, completed training and received his commercial driver’s license – CDL - which will give him the skills and credentials for much higher paying jobs than he has had in the past. This was his second attempt, and he persevered in spite of a severe anxiety and social disorder that made every class session excruciating. He and his family also reside in one of our Shelter Plus apartments.
“R”, a single woman in her 60′s, is facing her alcoholism for the first time in her life. Currently staying in our shelter, her problem came to light when we discovered whiskey bottles hidden in her room. She was immediately confronted and given the choice to enroll in an outpatient rehab program at Keystone, or leave the shelter. She chose rehab, and while she is very early in her journey and has many challenges ahead, she is at least taking the first steps and trying.
“M”, a single mom with a 6-year old who gave birth to another baby while in our shelter, has been able to access new sources of income – child support and unemployment benefits - with help from our case managers. She has now healed from her childbirth and saved enough for the deposits necessary to move into independent housing. She has shared that paradoxically, she was actually grateful to be in a shelter when she had her new baby, because of the help and support she had when she brought him home. When she had her first child she had no supportive friends or family to rely on.
“T” is a single mom of three whose youngest is enrolled in our Open Arms Child Support Center while she works. She has attended several classes here on our campus recently where volunteers taught about responsible budgeting, and also came to a class that taught how to reduce expenses with coupons. She recently shared proudly that she had opened up the first savings account she ever had in her life, with a $50 balance, and that she is spending a lot less on groceries as she works on applying the things she has heard in these classes.
These are just a sampling of the forward progress our clients are making, heroically keeping up the fight in spite of daunting barriers. In my opinion, there are two critical factors in these stories. First, the fierce determination of our clients to figure out how to turn their lives around – make better choices, access good resources, work hard until they achieve their goals. Second, the unwavering work and support of our dedicated staff and volunteers. I am enormously proud of both! Blogged by: Susan Dean, Executive Director, Pilgrims’ Inn
